My One Word

Balance – New/Connect

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Wow, the difference a month can make. In my quest to have stronger BALANCE in my life a couple of things have happened that may appear to throw me off balance, yet, in the grand scheme of life I know I it will make me more balanced.

Referring back to my one-word BALANCE and creating an acrostic poem Believe, Attitude, Love, Allow, New, Connect and Energy, the words New and Connect have brought about actions I have taken and a new section to BALANCE is forming in my life.

I have been given a New opportunity to complete something I started a few years back. For quite a few years I have thought about doing work at the administrative level. So, a few years ago I started a program to get another masters degree in administrative leadership. Well, for various reasons I was not able to complete that program. Sometimes life happens and something has to take a back burner. For me, it was the program.  I had all intentions of completing the papers and getting everything submitted but my intentions weren’t enough. Fast forward a couple of years and the fact that I never completed the program eats away at me. Well, a colleague, who is also a dear friend, is currently taking classes to get her administrative license. My friend is well aware of my one-word BALANCE and kind of jokingly said to me “the program may not help you find your balance but I think you should do it.” She sent some information to me and I found myself going to an informational meeting, completing the application, going through the interview process and being accepted into the program. Now I have the opportunity to balance out what has been missing by not completing the first program and get my principal license.

Another New happening is I have accepted a position at a different elementary school for the 2019-20 school year. While that is four and a half months away I have to prepare myself, the current staff I work with, and the students in the building. I have built some very strong relationships with adults and students over the last five years. I am a firm believer that change is good and there are times that moving on to another school is the best way to get the change or be the change you need. While saying goodbye is difficult the excitement I have for the new is the fuel I need at this time.

With these two New adventures starting in my life in the near future this also brings me to Connect. Now is the time for me to connect with new people, to expand myself personally and professionally. This is also a time for me to stay connected to those who have helped me grow and develop over the last five years. I will be ever thankful for the connections fo my past. However, I am filled with so much awe, wonder, and anticipation for the new connections to come and where these next steps will take me.

My idea of BALANCE may be rocked a bit, but I’ve got this!

BALANCE – Attitude/Allow

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I started 2019 with my one-word BALANCE and creating an acrostic poem Believe, Attitude, Love, Allow, New, Connect and Energy to further develop how my one-word can truly become a part of me. I have been reflecting on the two A’s, Attitude and Allow.

As part of my journey to understand how BALANCE can be part of my life I am reading Balance Like a Pirate. The authors talk about balance quadrants (personal, professional, positional, and passion) and how those quadrants work together to support a person’s overall balance. This is where my Attitude and willingness to Allow have really come into play.

My personal and passion quadrants have taken the biggest hit so far this year, which has really lead me to reflect on how I am working to find the willingness to allow. I strive to be healthy and take care of myself so I am able to be there to support and take care of others.  However, back in December, I pulled a muscle in my back which has not healed.  Due to my chronic back issues I have to rest, I have to let others do what I would typically do myself, and I have to put things on hold.  Just getting through a typical day is exhausting and I am physically and mentally beat by the end of the day. I was pushing to do more, but my body and mind finally took over and I have had to stop and allow the physical and mental rest to happen. I don’t like the rest that I am having to take, however, in some ways I am better for it. I am learning that by allowing myself to rest and letting others do there is a new BALANCE to my life.  I have also discovered that by allowing myself to step back and ask for help others step up to support me.

Attitude is the other A within BALANCE for me.  I am having to take a closer look at my attitude in the professional quadrant. At school, we had a training on diversity and an activity was to use five index cards to write your name, how you identify your race, and three other words or phrases you feel identify you. My five cards…Stephanie Kay Smith Dill, white, learner, Mamma, and SPED Teacher. We then partnered up to explain our cards and were asked to take away the one card that you felt didn’t really matter to your identity.  From the four cards left the partner was to blindly pick another card to take away from your identity.  Then of the three remaining identity cards, another one was pulled and then torn in half. This was painful in two aspects; as the person tearing another’s identity card and then to discover which of your personal identities was torn.

My torn identity card…SPED Teacher. Of my five cards, I truly identify myself as a Mamma and a special education teacher. I knew early on in high school that I wanted to be a special education teacher, and I am currently in my 25th year teaching students who qualify for special education services (really all students). Having my SPED Teacher identity card torn was more than just an activity; in recent weeks I have felt torn up due to comments of another teacher I work with. When working in a classroom and students who are not identified to receive special education services are told “You don’t need to be back there, you are smart in math. Go back to your seat.”, I just want to throw my hands up and walk away. How can any child learn, be willing to ask for help, or see the value in others when they have to be in a classroom with an adult who has that type of attitude?

All of this has caused me to focus on attitude. How does it all affect my attitude, what do I do differently to change, and how can I support those who I feel are attacking me? I know what I do for all students is the right work. I will work with and support any student who asks or looks to need a guiding hand.  I have spent the entire school year going into this classroom to support students and model for the teacher. Students come to me because they know I will give them the attention, support, and the reassurance they need.  As a school, we are working on mindsets and one is perseverance. I need to persevere through this, keep a strong attitude that the work I do and the support I give students is right and what the students need. I need to go back into that classroom and continue to support any student who asks; they deserve it!

BALANCE-2019

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My One Word for 2019 BALANCE. As with all of my one words, the word finds me at some point and I just know that is what I will focus the year on.  I know that many people have focused on balance over the years and I have wondered about the word many times. However, this has been the first time BALANCE has been so profound in my thoughts and activities that it was a no-brainer BALANCE is my word.

Through an activity from a friend, I created an acrostic poem with BALANCE; Believe Attitude Love Allow New Connect Energy. These words will be a smaller part of the overall idea of BALANCE to support my journey through 2019.  The Bible verse that stood out to support is from Job 31:6 “Let me be weighed in a just balance, and let God know my integrity!” While there are various definitions from Merriam Webster Dictionary the one that resonates the best is: the ability to move or remain in a position without losing control or falling.

I know there is no perfect BALANCE to life, yet I Believe through my Attitude, Love from others, being able to Allow New growth, and Connect with positive Energy 2019 will be a fantastic year.

RESTORE – 2018

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2018 brought about my one word and aspiration to RESTORE that which had been missing and keep possession of what is good in my life.

Part of restoring what was missing in my life was the need to reconnect with myself. You see, I spent the last eighteen years doing the most important job of my life, being Mom. Becoming a mother changed my view on what I needed for myself and what my daughter needed from me. I have so enjoyed watching her grow into a beautiful strong young woman and love the life we have developed and nurtured. I absolutely love my daughter and I know I am not finished with my job, but my role has changed.  Due to my changing role, reconnecting to me was part of my journey this year. I have focused more on my physical and mental well being. Approaching the mid-century mark I have become more accepting of my physical being. Realizing that I want to live on my terms and I am in control of my body and I have the ability to make the most of what my body is and does. I am also doing what I can to support my mental state; doing different activities to keep my brain strong and flexible.

On a professional level, I realized I had more and made the decision to stay at the same school for another year. I have been working to build the culture in the building for our students, staff, and community. This has been in a covert manner as well as full disclosure. While changes have happened, due to many reasons. the culture in the building is stronger.  There are always ways to improve and the work will continue to expand and grow with everyone’s needs in 2019 and beyond.

I’m thankful for my friendships and relationships. The wonderful people in my life have really helped me do more soul-searching and realize the potential I have.  I am a strong woman and capable of accomplishing what I put my mind to.

I took more time to just be and relish in the simple things of life.  I stopped more to admire the world around me, the work of God and nature; taking in a sunrise or sunset and gave thanks for the ability to be out among the wonder and beauty of it all.

2018 was the year to RESTORE, thanks for the opportunities. Here’s to the coming year and the next step in my life!

 

 

Lessons from Generations

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The beautiful woman in the black and white photo is my maternal Grandmother; NaNa – Dorthy Marie. NaNa left this physical earth almost 30 years ago, while she may not be a part of my physical life she is defiantly a part of my social-emotional and spiritual life! However, I also realize as I continue to age I physically resemble this lady I love so much – right down to the crooked grin. NaNa is my inspiration for my thoughts today and part of my #oneword2018 RESTORE.

I read a blog post by Chuck Poole What’s In Your Teacher Cary-On? This post got me thinking once again about packing respect and success in my teacher carry-on when working with students and teachers.

For me, respect is just naturally given and also earned.  Being from the south I was raised to respect others. My grandmother played a huge role in shaping my value of respect.  Due to the early death of my grandfather, my grandmother moved in with us when I was eight years old. Over the years my grandmother taught me her principles and thoughts around respect.  While she didn’t always get along with or agree with individuals she always showed and gave them respect.  Ideas and thoughts don’t always have to be agreed upon, yet individuals need to respect each other and be willing to listen to and discuss ideas and thinking. Through those interactions I learned from NaNa about respect I work to live my life in the same way; giving respect even if I don’t always get along with or agree with the individual.

Success is a value I view in the aspect that I believe every individual, no matter the age, wants to learn and do well.  As a child success did not come easy for me. Over the years I had many great teachers who influenced my life and supported my learning in order for me to become successful, yet one teacher stands out from the rest, Mrs. Devlin.  Mrs. Devlin was my high school English teacher my freshman and senior years.  My freshman year I am sure she saw me as this little “ditzy” blonde who was just happily bouncing her way through life.  I was not the strongest student and reading was a challenge for me.  My freshman year I had minimal success. School continued to be one of those pieces in my life that I just needed to get through.  My senior year was when I finally experienced the success I needed to continue to move forward and really understand the value.

In school, I tried hard with little effect.  Mrs. Devlin changed that for me with the acknowledgment that I did not understand vowel sounds.  While I realize that sounds a bit archaic, it was that simple. I knew enough about reading to get through the reading and had strategies to support myself and get the basic understanding of what was going on, but there was still a piece missing.  One day she shared a simple scrap piece of paper in which she wrote the vowel and then a simple drawing to help me remember the sound the letter makes (a = apple, e = egg, i = Indian, o = octopus, and u = umbrella).  Thirty-one years later I can still see that scrap piece of paper.  Those sound representations supported my learning for many years.

As a special education teacher, I completely empathize with my students. Which makes celebrating my student’s success, no matter the size, that much sweeter! I have had the pleasure of witnessing many successes from many students over the years. Success is there for everyone!

As I continue my journey this year to RESTORE what is strong and needed in my life I will also keep my teacher carry-on of respect and success in the forethought of my mind. Everyone deserves and needs respect and success!

I AM

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Timothy 4:7 was the main message from the sermon at church a few weekends back.  With my #oneword2018 of RESTORE, this all fits in so well.  I am working this year to create a clean heart and restore the joy of God’s salvation along with regaining or keeping possession of what is good.

Through my life, I want to know I fought the good fight; as a woman, mother, wife, and teacher. I am listening and coming to believe I am a good person.  I am strong (physically and mentally), confident (in relation to my teaching) and at times intimidating (however, I really hope in a manner that is also seen as respectful).  I am learning how to “fight the good fight” in a way in which thoughts and ideas are shared respectfully.  I am standing up for what I feel is right and expressing myself in a way I haven’t done in the past.  Through this, I am creating a clean heart.

I finished the race…I wish I could say that for various parts of my life, however, I am not going to dwell on the past.  I am moving forward.  I am learning from past mistakes and using the new understanding and knowledge to keep going, to set new sights and I am finishing the race.

In some form or fashion, I have always kept the faith; yet in the recent years, my faith has waned.  I am aware that God’s presence is always with me and he is always guiding me; I just have not always kept Him in the forefront.  I am better when I keep God present.  I am restoring my faith.

Life can be overwhelming, yet I am navigating through.  I am fighting the good fight, finishing the race, and keeping the faith to RESTORE my life.

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